Best Christmas Gift

Sorry, have not wrote as much but getting ready for Christmas oh and received 12-19 2019 the best gift  I am in remission and the aggressive growth is gone so we are very happy, remission doesn't mean cured I will need to go to the doctors more often through the year for checks but for now, I am very happy.

November 29th I had my last R-Chop Chemotherapy

the nurses gave me a cupcake and a card Jonathan

 gave me a dozen roses and dinner.

I had a pet scan and the results were- Yes I am in remission!!! Yup we found out December 18th I am In Remission.

the aggressive is totally gone and the follicular lymphoma is in remission.

a video I made that evening after doc appointment.

so yes we are very excited and happy and we want to thank the group I am in on facebook for support for all the wonderful help advice and kind words. 

and my friends and family I love you the support is wonderful and I thank you so much I am blessed for the group my friends and family so many on my side praying and thinking of me thank you so much. the best Christmas gifts are all of you including my wonderful husband who went through so much as well being in remission and my wonderful doctor. 

what does being in remission mean 

well, I still have cancer it just is not active at this time like with all blood cancers follicular lymphoma will always be an issue for me until a cure is found.

you can visit the new follicular lymphoma site here to learn more.

https://www.theflf.org/

I will be going every 3 months then every 6 months then if in time passes and i am still in remission then yearly lets hope. My first appointment will be about survivor packets on diet, appointments, tests and more. I am also waiting on removing the port like most for 6 mo just to be sure becuase it is surgery to put in and out I will have it flushed every 6 weeks and use it for my blood work.

well, that is it, for now, we hope you all have a wonderful holiday season hugs to everyone.

One more treatment to go

One more treatment to go

I am so glad we only have one more to go, the chemo is taking a lot out of me my breathing and energy being the worse and for the first week now after I cry all the time for no real reason but then that at least gets better Jonathan continues to try and keep me laughing  cheering me up in so many ways, he has done better at understanding I do not mean to be so cranky and mean at times and I am doing better at apologizing.

My last treatment is the day after thanksgiving I normally decorate for Christmas that day and weekend but seeing as I will be at my very worse those days I have slowly started decorating now it will be so nice to be mesmerized by holiday lights and decorations when I get home from chemo. I love the holidays what a treat for the end of treatment Christmas and the season of hope and love. my favorite season of all.

in only one day have my kitchen and my sitting area near the sliders to the deck where i watch the birds with Barnaby, almost done i don't know why but it seems even more festive than past years it is like Santas own house lol well it can only be a good thing, some of my favorite memories was decorating the house with mom or maybe seeing how much she enjoyed doing it she also went all out with decor and food oh so many treats. and I still love listening to classic Christmas music with memories of all the Christmas seasons past singing with mom and now Jonathan ok I could go on and on about Christmas I love it so much but what I love most is people seem nicer and more hopeful, giving, helpful, and so loving this time of year. have a wonderful holiday season. Have a great Thanksgiving Christmas and New year blessings and hugs all.

a message just after chemo 5 from me.

Christmas is coming I was feeling awful and having to rest just after chemo Jonathan cheered me up making holiday cookies awww my awsome husband love him so much 

I Love Christmas how about you all?

Christmas past

Christmas with Jonathan

A couple days until chemo number 5

I have noticed this month I am getting sicker not in the way of cancer but the chemo is taking a lot out of me I am tired I get out of breath easier my blood pressure and pulse rise fast when upset now and my legs give out more often, the first half I was feeling better I think becuase it was getting rid of cancer so I was feeling stronger what I didn't realize or actually forgot was what the chemo actually does to your system I  had a friend die during chemo becuase of the chemo she got  pneumonia and died on Christmas at her daughters house this was in the 90s . I know today we are getting more steroids and the thing that I get on my arm for next day shot to boost my immune system.

I am a little afraid of these last 2 on if my system can take it I was glad I could get things done before but now it seems I rest a lot more. well, I can not wait until they are done and I pray I will need no more treatments for years.

In our yard sits our “new” used Chevy Tahoe. We saw it on Craigslist and it looked great. The owner had done a lot of work on it replacing parts that weren’t a problem yet but could be in the next 5 years as he actually was planning on keeping it, but he and his wife just had a baby and she wanted a smaller SUV and her father gave them a 5-year-old Cherokee. You do not turn a gift like that down, especially when it suits a new family. Jonathan went to look at it and found a kind young man who explained and showed him all that was done and receipts. Jonathan drove it and it was so roomy and comfortable and drove perfectly. It is fully loaded, and for a 2004 it looks and drives like new, I saw only one tiny scratch on the hood and a small rip that we can fix in the driver’s seat. The Carfax also documented all the work that had been done and listed only one report of damage. It turns out that the previous owner’s wife had backed into a trailer and broken the taillight, no other damage or dents. While it is definitely older, than we really planned, I haven't seen such a clean and beautiful older vehicle as this or ridden in such a smooth vehicle in years. That year Tahoe gets great marks for reliability and pretty much anything that may fail after years he preemptively replaced, awesome!

In talking with the man we found out he is a state trooper and just seemed to be a really nice person. He could have gotten top money for it, but we got it for a lot less, like 1/3 less because he really just wanted to get back the money he had put in since he had been blessed with the new Cherokee from his father-in-law. It was still just about all we had scraped together for a vehicle because even with insurance we still have thousands to pay for with my chemo and treatments. The trooper paid for a new inspection, even though it is valid until January, which will be today, and if they find anything he said he would fix it or give us our money back and signed a statement for that. I want to thank this man from the bottom of my heart, Jonathan loves it and is so comfortable in it as it is so roomy and everything adjusts, the driver’s seat, steering wheel, and even the pedals, so cool. This vehicle is truly a blessing I thank the trooper and God for making our lives so so so much easier. I also thank previous owners for taking such good care of it and being such great drivers. we are BLESSED

Banana bread

3 almost bad bananas then make banana bread right? I am making banana bread

Banana bread both regular great recipe  and an even better tasting diet recipe I made up with this recipe we love it 

INGREDIENTS

3 or 4 ripe bananas, smashed

1/3 cup melted butter

1 cup sugar (can easily reduce to 3/4 cup)

1 egg, beaten

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 teaspoon baking soda

Pinch of salt

1 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour

METHOD

No need for a mixer for this recipe. Preheat the oven to 350°F (175°C). With a wooden spoon, mix butter into the mashed bananas in a large mixing bowl. Mix in the sugar, egg, and vanilla. Sprinkle the baking soda and salt over the mixture and mix in. Add the flour last, mix. Pour mixture into a buttered 4x8 inch loaf pan. Bake for 1 hour. Cool on a rack. Remove from pan and slice to serve.

Yield: Makes one loaf.

Subs i use for diet wich tastes even better than this recipe as is lol

I use splenda for sugar I use half cup splenda and half cup applesauce for sugar and  large egg white instead of egg and margerine instead of butter

 RASPBERRIES ARE IN SEASON AGAIN

welL MY RASPBERRIES ARE IN SEASON AGAIN, THEY RIPEN TWICE ONCE EARLY SUMMER AND AGAIN LATE SUMMER. I ENJOY THEM IN CEREAL LIKE OATMEAL AND GRAPENUTS OR AS A SNACK, BUT MOST OF ALL IN SMOOTHIES OH YES I LOVE MY SMOOTHIES AND REAL FRUIT ICE CREAMS.

I WAS READING RECENTLY THE BENEFITS OF CERTAIN BERRIES FOR PEOPLE WITH SUGAR, WEIGHT, AND BLOOD PRESSURE ISSUES. A REGULAR DIET WITH THEM IN IT HELPS PEOPLE WITH THESE ISSUES. SO SOME OF THESE BERRIES ARE BLACKBERRIES, RASPBERRIES, CHERRIES AND CRANBERRY I AM UNSURE ABOUT BLUEBERRIES THEY ARE ONE OF MY FAVORITES SO I EAT THOSE OFTEN ANYWAY.

AS ALWAYS FROM YOUR OWN GARDEN, FRESHLY PICKED, GARDEN STANDS, ORGANIC AND NON SPRAYED ARE BEST, ALWAYS CHECK FOR WHOLE BERRY CONTENT IN DRINKS IT IS BEST TO JUICE YOURSELF IF YOU CAN. I HAVE SEEN MANY SITES TODAY DEDICATED TO JUICING. ANYWAY JUST MY THOUGHT FOR THE DAY AS I EAT SOME OF MY FRESH RASPBERRIES OFF THE BUSH.
 

you can make this same recipe below with raspberries clean and freeze first
fill ninja or processor half full of berries
 add a cup to cup and half milk or even what I use now almond milk with vanilla flavor
 teaspoon vanilla  
add sugar or sugar substitute if desired spin till soft serve ice cream enjoy.

add whip cream or sprinkles even chocolate chips or candy on top

DIABETIC SMOOTHIES 

Berry Smoothie
Servings: 4 = 3/4 of a cup
1 (8) ounce plain nonfat yogurt
1/4 cup skim milk or almond
milk
3 packets of  sweetener or 1 tsp  Measure
3 cups of frozen strawberries
1 cup of crushed ice

Combine the first 3 ingredients into a blender.
While the blender is on, add the strawberries slowly.
Blend until it is at your desired consistency
Add ice cubs through the lid and blend until it is smooth.

you can also add a small banana for flavor

-------------------------

Invent Your Own Smoothie

Smoothies are the easiest, yummy, sweet, delicious summer treat and are great for everyone, not just those who are diabetic. Here is how to create and be inventive.

2 cups plain low-fat Yogurt
2 cups fresh or frozen fruit (or 1 cup of fresh or frozen fruit and 1 cup of no sugar added frozen juice)
1 cup crushed ice
give it a try if you want you can add a little milk for more smoothness

That’s all you really need to know!

My Condiment Summer Salad Dressing

Summer is here and with it come summer salads of all kinds. I think I eat salads of all types more than anything else at a BBQ.
So in that spirit here is my “Condiment Summer Salad Dressing”.

Ingredients:

5 heaping tbsp mayo or miracle whip, for a healthier salad, use the low fat/light version

½ tbsp Dijon mustard

½ tbsp regular mustard

1 tbsp creamy horseradish OR ¼ tbsp regular horseradish

1 tbsp pickle relish

1 tsp catsup, for a bit of zing

1 diced small onion, always great in the mix, but optional

Salt

Pepper

Italian Seasoning

Directions:

Blend everything except the salt, pepper, and Italian Seasoning in a bowl.
Sprinkle salt, pepper, and Italian Seasoning across the top and blend well.
Add to the salad of your choice and mix thoroughly
Taste test your salad and sprinkle some more salt, pepper, and Italian Seasoning as needed.

Ideas:

I use this for both potato and macaroni salads. In my macaroni salad, I add tuna and peas, in the potato you can add a hard-boiled egg if you wish. Experiment with this dressing, I think you will find it is very useful.

you can make a dip for kielbasa by taking a few ingredients away and subtract these items 

subtract 

Italian seasoning 

pepper and salt

onion 

ketchup

pickle relish

instead, add 

honey

and diced kielbasa for dipping

Eggrolls, The Healthy Way

Eggrolls, The Healthy Way

We make this for ourselves at least once a month and always make a bunch for parties. You can’t even tell they are healthy versions. It was a great net find!

Egg Roll Ingredients:
2/3 cup coarsely chopped celery
2/3 cup coarsely chopped carrot
2 cups shredded cabbage
1/2 teaspoon vegetable oil
2/3 cup chopped onion
1/2 teaspoon minced peeled fresh ginger
1 garlic clove, minced
1/2 pound ground turkey (preferably 93% lean)
1 1/2 tablespoons low-sodium soy sauce
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
14 egg roll wrappers
1 large egg white
Sauce Ingredients:
3/4 cup low-sodium soy sauce
6 tablespoons rice vinegar
2 tablespoons dark sesame oil
1 tablespoon minced peeled fresh ginger
1/3 cup thinly sliced green onions (optional)
Light cooking spray

Directions:
Preheat oven to 425°. To prepare egg rolls, combine celery and carrot in a food processor; pulse 10 times or until finely chopped. Combine celery mixture and cabbage in a medium bowl. Cover with plastic wrap; vent. Microwave at high 5 minutes; drain. Heat vegetable oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add chopped onion, 1/2 teaspoon ginger, and garlic; sauté 2 minutes. Add turkey; cook 5 minutes. Remove from heat; stir in cabbage mixture, 1 1/2 tablespoons soy sauce, and pepper. Cover and chill 15 minutes.
Place 1 egg roll wrapper at a time onto work surface with one corner pointing toward you (wrapper should look like a diamond). Trim 1 inch off right and left corners of wrapper. Spoon 3 tablespoons turkey filling into center of wrapper. Fold lower corner of wrapper over filling. Fold in trimmed corners. Moisten top corner of wrapper with egg white; roll up jellyroll fashion. Repeat procedure with remaining wrappers, turkey mixture, and egg white.
Lightly coat egg rolls with cooking spray, and place, seam side down, on a baking sheet coated with cooking spray. Bake at 425° for 18 minutes or until golden brown.
To prepare sauce, combine 3/4 cup soy sauce, vinegar, sesame oil, and 1 tablespoon ginger; serve with egg rolls. Garnish with green onions, if desired.

NUTRITIONAL INFO:
1.5 eggroll per serving; 79 calories; 8 g carbohydrates; 11 mg cholesterol; 2.5 g fat; 532 mg sodium; 5.7 g protein; 18 mg calcium; 0.9 mg iron; 0.7 g fiber

Moms recipes 3 HAM SALAD & HAMBURG CASSEROLE

Ham salad 

My Mom made great ham salad, and I went looking on the Net for exact measurements. I knew how to make it but wanted to write it down. Do you think I could easily find it, lol. This is for sandwiches, some call it a spread now, and you could use it on crackers.

Ingredients

    * Ham I like honey ham

    * Diced small Onion

    * 2 tablespoons pickle Relish or piccalilli (Mom used her homemade)

    * 4 tablespoons mayo

    * 1 teaspoon Mustard regular or Dijon- this is optional

Instructions

In a food processor, or grind by hand like my mom did, process the ham until you like its consistency, making usually around 3 cups.

In a large bowl mix the rest of the ingredients. I use 2 tablespoons of relish and a teaspoon of mustard at times (I do not always use mustard and it is not in mom's recipe) and 4 tablespoons mayo and a small onion finely chopped, and then add ham. You may have to adjust amounts, but be careful not to make it too mushy or runny.

In a tiny bowl, I start taste testing you know what you and your family will like then chill and serve for sandwiches or on crackers.

Josie's Hamburg Potato Casserole

Ingredients

3 lb of 97% Lean Ground Beef

3 Tbls White Flour

Salt and Pepper

1 1/2 Cups Milk

5-6 Medium Potatoes - peeled and sliced into 1/4 inch thick slices

1 Medium Onion sliced

Onion Salt

Preparation

Preheat oven to 375°

Pre-cook the potatoes and onions in the microwave for 4 minutes.

Brown ground beef with some onion salt and pepper. Do not drain if using 97% lean, if using less lean ground beef you may need to drain off some, but not all, fat.

Once fully cooked sprinkle with flour and blend in until the fat is absorbed and you cannot see the white of the flour, then stir in the milk until you get the consistency of a gravy you desire.

Add some chopped onion as it finishes up.

Add salt and pepper if desired.

Scoop the ground beef and gravy mixture into a lightly buttered baking dish.

Take the pre-cooked potato and onion slices and stand them up in the beef mixture as we want brown in the oven.

Bake in the 375° oven for 35 min or until the standing potatoes and onions are browned with crispy points

Moms recipes 2 it is all about turkey (or chicken) leftovers

My Mom's Turkey Soup 

My Turkey Soup

Let's warm up with some homemade chicken or turkey soup. Most of this recipe is just as my Mom made it, with a little tweaking by me over the years. My Mom used this as a frugal way to create another meal from the remains of a turkey or large chicken from the night before, and I usually do this as well. So that is how I am going to write the recipe. This way you basically make your stock at the same time. You'll see. ~ Lisa

Ingredients:
* Leftover baked chicken (whole carcass) or turkey
* 1 can of crushed tomatoes
* 1 1/2 cup macaroni or rotini
* 1 cup cooked rice
* Medium onion, diced
* Tbsp dried parsley flakes
* Salt and pepper to taste

Directions:
In a large stockpot put your chicken carcass and any leftover chicken meat. I buy a bigger chicken than usual so I have plenty of leftovers. Fill with water so that the carcass is submerged. Boil well for about an hour. Remove the carcass and bones from what is now a wonderful stock and leave the chicken stock on the stove. If you are really picky, you could strain the stock, I don't though. I hate to dirty more pots than necessary and have always been able to fish out everything.

Peel all the chicken off the bones (realistically it should fall off the bones) and cut up small, or shred, if desired. Add the meat and the stock back to the pot along with a regular can of crushed tomatoes. Bring it back to a boil and then add the macaroni, rice, and onion. Sprinkle in the parsley flakes, and salt and pepper. Let this cook until the macaroni is tender and the rice is done.

Remove from heat and serve with crusty bread to your ravenous family (and they will be ravenous as this really makes the house smell like dinner). You can put any remainder in containers. This recipe freezes well, you will need to add a bit of water when reheating though

Thanksgiving Turkey Pot Pie Leftovers Recipe 

My favorite Thanksgiving turkey pot pie leftovers recipe basically uses the whole Thanksgiving dinner as a pot pie. I made this one up myself, it seems similar to what some people on the net are talking about, I know we love it.

Leftover turkey
Leftover stuffing
Leftover vegetables
Leftover cranberry sauce - optional
Leftover gravy - very important
2 pie crusts

Simmer all leftovers in the pan for a few minutes and then fill one pie crust. Cover with the second crust and "fork down" or crimp edges, poke center holes with a fork or knife. I always brush a bit of milk on top for a nice golden crust.
Bake for 25-30 minutes at temp directed on pie crust instructions, until crust has browned.
Let set 5-8 minutes before slicing to serve.

Turkey Stew Recipe 

My Turkey Stew Recipe

Some sliced carrots (could also use green beans and corn)
Some diced potatoes
1 Onion (diced)
Leftover turkey
Salt pepper for seasoned flavor

I boil the bones and carcass and then save the water (now stock), collect turkey from bones and put the turkey back into the pot with carrots potatoes and onions all cut up. Simmer for 25 minutes, and then thicken as you wish with flour. This is basically the same idea as beef stew, I did not give how many potatoes or carrots because it is up to you to decide how much based on what you have leftover for turkey and how much stock you created, and how much you wish to make. You can add extra water to the stock, up to a few cups.

I make dumplings from the Bisquick box recipe.

Moms recipes 1 Holidays

Holiday recipes

• French Meat Stuffing (and for meat pie)
• This is My Mom's recipe, with some tweaks by Lisa over the years. The funny thing is that it is just like the french meat pies Jonathan remembers from his youth.
• Ingredients
• 2 lbs Hamburg
• 1 lb ground pork
• 2 1/2 tbsp bells Seasoning
• 10 to 12 medium potatoes
• 4 medium onions diced
• Salt and pepper to taste
• Onion Salt
• Garlic Powder

InstructionsCook the Hamburg and pork drain fat. Peel and then cook the potatoes to about half done and then roughly cut them up (do not mash). In a big pot add the potatoes and onions to the meat. Add Bells Seasoning, a few shakes of salt & pepper, a bit of onion salt, and a dash of garlic powder. Let this cook on medium-low, stirring very frequently (every few minutes) and adding water as needed to have it not stick (may have to add water but watch out the onions and potatoes add their own water to the mixture as they cook.

What you are watching for is it not to be watery and still have potatoes showing, they tend to sometimes almost disappear the longer you cook. This said the dish is something to be cooked low and slow and long, so just add more potatoes later on if you decide to cook long like I do. Also, add more Bells (about a tablespoon every 45 minutes or so) part of the fun part is taste testing and adjusting as you go.

For meat pie, just add the mixture to a pie crust, cover with another crust, and cook in the oven, per crust directions, until the crust is golden brown and delicious


               _____________________________________________________________

Quick Microwave Peanut Butter Fudge 
Not healthy lol, but, yummy for the holidays


Ingredients

• 1 Medium jar of crunchy peanut butter
• 2/3 stick of butter
• 2 packages confectioner's sugar (you may only need one but make sure you have two)
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1/2 tablespoon vanilla

instructions in a microwave-safe bowl heat 3/4 of the jar of peanut butter, the butter, and vanilla in the microwave on high for 2 1/2 minutes or until the butter and peanut butter are melted. Be careful not to scorch it!

Once everything is melted remove from microwave and open a package of confectioner 's sugar. Add the sugar slowly, stirring constantly, until you have added nearly half a bag of sugar, then add some milk, about half of it.

Keep stirring. Add more sugar and then milk slowly, stirring constantly. It is hard to be definite on the amounts, you are looking for a good mix in the end. You should be able to form a ball once it stiffens and starts to cool. You may want to use your hands to mix it once it has cooled enough.

Put in an ungreased pie pan or cake dish, pushing to the edges and flattening it evenly. Cover with foil or plastic wrap and put it in the refrigerator for 1 to 2 hours. Cut and serve.

Optional:
An awesome variation is to make this peanut butter fudge, then make the chocolate fudge recipe. Spread a layer of chocolate over the peanut butter, it is just wonderful.


              __________________________________________________



Quick Chocolate Fudge 
This is an excellent chocolate fudge recipe that is so quick to make it will have your family shouting "More, More!"


Ingredients

• 1 (12 oz.) pkg. semi-sweet morsels
• 1 (14 oz.) can sweeten condensed milk
• 1 1/4 c. chopped walnuts
• 1 tsp. vanilla

instructions= in a glass dish, combine chocolate chips and sweetened condensed milk. Microwave 2 minutes on high. Stir until smooth. Add walnuts and vanilla. Spread into a foil-lined 8-inch square pan. Chill until firm, 2 hours. The perfect fudge recipe for people who don't cook.

Recipe's from the back of Nestle's package!

Optional:
An awesome variation is to make the peanut butter fudge, then make this chocolate fudge recipe. Spread a layer of chocolate over the peanut butter and cool, it is just wonderful.

Cancer update

chemo number 4 ok 2 more to go
I have been coloring to get through this month and really enjoying it. I tend to try and do too much and make myself warn down and ill coloring helps keep me settled and relaxed. The Monday after chemo seems to be the worse I think it might be all the meds that help me through the chemo ware off.

as time goes on up till the next treatment I get better energy has been increasing each treatment. We got the scan results and the Diffuse Large B-cell Lymphoma (DLBCL), which is the aggressive one in my groin, has gone down a lot, which is great and we hope by the end of all 6 chemos it is gone. It is the one that needs to go away completely and is one of the most curable with chemo.
The Follicular Lymphoma (FL), which was in my neck and armpit, has also gone down a lot, it cannot be felt with hands anymore. This one will likely only disappear 95 percent and I will be on the watch and wait and could be on that for years as it never goes totally away. But if it does flair up and I do need treatment for the FL again it will not be the R-Chop chemo again, but another treatment that doesn't make you as sick or your hair fall out and takes less time at treatment center each time. In all, we are pretty happy and positive!

Some of my coloring, not the best when I am sick but love it and you do not have to be perfect just get the benefits of enjoying it relaxing calm whatever.  an article I wrote a while back about adult coloring it is worth a peek. for my revies on books supplies contests and more.
Coloring for adults

chemo update and birthday

Hey, it's my birthday today it is October 4rth and a week ago I had chemo number 3 we are halfway there folks and I will be having tests before my next treatment to see if the chemo is working,

I am not going to talk about symptoms this time they are the same as the last 2 treatments and it actually takes me a full week to get back to feeling normal. My Birthday was awsome o nasua crankiness depression or feeling weak or ill at all yay what a nice day thank you, sweetie, for the awesome dinner and flowers love the sunflowers big and beautiful.

something that has been hard each month that I really should talk about each treatment though is how hard it is on my husband he gets his feeling hurt by me sometimes because I can just get really cranky and accusing like "you can't possibly understand how I am feeling" and when he forgets symptoms I have or anything dealing with the treatments and wellness. This disease and the treatments are not his or my fault it just is I find myself apologizing a lot and he doing the same. I understand many go through this during treatment and yes many do not.

 It is serious though after a crying episode I had began yelling maybe I should go to some nursing type home or group home until this is over and I am in remission, yes that's what I said to him because he questioned why I had him get chicken salad if I wasn't going to eat it, yup something that simple can cause well me anyway to burst into tears and accuse him of not remembering poor appetite is part of chemo and then it led into me saying sorry and thinking maybe he might leave me or fall out of love with me all kinds of crazy yet real stuff. he had brought up how a couple broke up after the guy went into remission but also I have seen another marring we see the happy stuff on tv, but the survivor of cancer goes through so much and is why we are called a survivor. we talked a lot about being together so long we celebrated our 17th anniversary the day after my third chemo we are soul mates and he can tell the treatments are causing my depression and other moods feeling awful all by itself would make me cranky he said we always smile laugh and in the end hug just I few more treatments I say just a few more I cry right now writing this because I love my husband so much and wouldn't know what I would do without him he is the best. I hate how I treat him sometimes through this. makes me so sad. I love you Jonathan with all my heart.

well, that is it for this check-in I am going to have a cat scan to see how all this chemo is doing I feel the best I have in months these last 5 days (today is October 9th) it is wonderful I will write again soon hugs all. thank you friends family and most importantly Jonathan I love you. 

chemo update

5th of September 2nd chemo you know I recall starting school on the 5th some years the cool crisp air that by afternoon was warm being excited and nervous, decked out from head to toe with new hot items that new coat and Levi's and those sneakers that made you run faster and jump higher  trapper keeper all set to go pencils sharpened oh well  that seems to be all I really recall about the 5th of September in my long life of 53 years (not long enough) well now I can remember it for my second life-saving treatment.

I have decided to show people after chemo I am pretty much ok yes I am sick yes I am depressed at times and crying yes cranky but also yes I am alive and Ok look at me I am here and doing this and can do this. I am a warrior love you all.

Sept 8 Game night with Jonathan go PATS finally feeling a bit better from chemo so hoping to enjoy 

watching the game on TV.

I also shaved my head this weekend 

Sept-13 feeling much better past couple days, still some rectal  issues (see below for advice and what I personally deal with) but not so bad I am not in tears today is the start of the real good days well I hope anyway hoping to do some weed whacking next week the last clean up for fall and winter. and maybe a drive to the ocean we will see. 

things I have gone through and recommendations that really work for me

one stool softener every day from day one of chemo until weeks after I finish in December!!!! I actually take it twice a day senna-s works great, (I had so much pain going poop OMG thought I was going to Die and it depressed me and made me so cranky.) once I found out I should take the senna every day until I am done chemo now I feel so much better still some pain but not nearly as bad as it was. a donut seat helps. I take a prescribed antinausea that I take every morning and night and sometimes around 3 in the afternoon,  I eat small meals through the day and take the diabetic shake product instead of ensure shake if you are not diabetic take ensure.  I drink one shake a day and first 3 days after chemo I drink 2 or 3 they help settle my tummy. 

food day 1 after chemo toast, cereal cold cut sandwich  or small sub, apple sauce shakes  nothing warm day 2 toast cereal fruits like Mellon's pears, apple sauce shakes pasta salads or pasta dishes like mac and cheese or alfredo  or soups chicken soup butternut squash, clam chowder same for day 3  then we start on some more normal meals still staying away from greasy and spicy. on line Recommendations really work look them up also try eating cold or warm foods instead of hot.

my hair started falling out 2 weeks after the first treatment. shave your head it makes it easier on everyone it gets everywhere around the house clothes and so on remember it grows back.. I bought cheap chemo hats on amazon and heath prayer yoga beads to decorate them on amazon links are below 

I have to say the first 3 days for me after each treatment are awful I am so depressed queazy but no vomiting  weakness and so on it takes me an entire week to feel really really good again I have 2 good weeks then another treatment, but I have hope and only 4 more treatments to go big deep breath.

 I can do this and I am so thankful for my online friends my family and my biggest supporter Jonathan he goes through a lot with my depression and crankiness, I do want to say make sure you talk about this the depression feeling sick and weakness and being cranky  right off so everyone understands it will change after treatments are done. being sick is so hard on you and on the ones you love once you start having good days reward the ones you love for taking your upset on bad days I do not know how to explain but that I cry a lot and sometimes get angry like very cranky I suppose. I do know I feel bad and try to let Jonathan know I didn't mean things, I said I do not mean to attack him it isn't his fault I have cancer but the depression and the sick feeling are so awful some days. he gets it after we talk about the day and I apologize. acknowledging each other's hurt if there is some is important when you are able the family is battling cancer and it is hard the entire family are warriors I say.

on amazon  10 bucks for 8 wow

On Amazon 
all different colors you pick the 4 you like for 15 bucks cool

love you all thanks for stopping by hugs 

health update

August 22 and 23 had a bout of vomiting and not feeling well but then feeling a bit better with just some old constipations pain.

25th  been enjoying the cool air outside last few days mainly relaxing watching birds and squirrels and Barnaby l. feeling good today I hope you all have a wonderful afternoon. Hugs all.

29th Tomorrow going to bone marrow biopsy. They say it is painful, but only for a little bit. I'm scared because I'm not at the top of my game to begin with. 
Well, I will be fine, I always finish with good people making me smile, hubby number one and my biggest fan. This is my new "kicking cancer in nodes" t-shirt.

30th bone marrow biopsy -Good morning Barnaby yes Mom has to go out today sorry but extra treats when we get home. Have a good day everyone hugs.

31st Happy birthday to my wonderful husband - all went as expected yesterday yup hurt like a wrenching charlie horse cramping pain in my back.  but pain well it is getting to be normal in a way, special procedures docs and nurses are remembering me now very friendly. Had the same doc that did my port. Doing great this morning sun is shining have a great weekend everyone. And prayers for those in Florida in the path of the hurricane. till next time hugs all. thank you for reading.