Update cancer, end June 2021

 Well another update I do not think I have been this depressed in years even when I first heard of my follicular lymphoma. It is hard today to say I wont give up but I am close. We heard today what I thought we would hear I need immediate surgery on the growth on my overies we wont know if it is cancer until it is out but tests so far do not look good cancer markers in my blood are up and certain markers in ultra sound but until it is out and tested we wont know if cancer or even what stage of cancer I have a feeling it might be a stage 2 but praying it is not cancer at all and also praying it is not stage 3 or 4.

Like I said I haven’t been this depressed in a long time spacing out limp body exhausted sad I think it is because my cancer journey is still just beginning i see so many sad stories I don’t want to be that sad story but i fear i will be. Crying now as I write also my Basset is dying he has liver cancer and today is at the stop eating stage of his down hill fall the vet says he is not in pain i am so happy for that I also hope he can die at home like my other pets in the past  and not at the place he hates so much to visit our vet is great but he just hates going so much.

He was a big help to me when i went through chemo with my lymphoma it will be hard this time without him i think all the sadness of his dying and i needing surgery for this now softball in my gut that might be cancer just has taken over my spirit it seemsI hope in the days to come I can take some deep breaths and get back my happiness and hope. And snap out of this depression.

Well folks that’s it for today i will write again soon.

Help educate so we can cure disease free collage please

 can I be frank? of corse i can th''is is my blog :)

I get so upset when people poo poo free education free collage what the heck is wrong with folks?

or that people think dreamers shouldnt be able to go to collage what the or how about people from other countries living here ok ok why am I upset here it is.

I have cancer all right you all know that. well my oncolagiyst that cured me putiing me into remission waasnt born in america he was one of the best oncoligists in New England USA he has gone on to a bigger city and now I have another oncologist again not originaly from this country so what the heck are all of you complaining about. so if you can not make it easier for american kids to get into collage like make it free do not complain about them coming from elsewhere. we need to help our poor schools with hungry kids latch key kids kids raised by single moms many poor kids are smart and maybe one of those you refused an education could have been a scientist that cured cancer years back or alzimers the more we have working on this stuff the better. so stop saying no free education that is just the most foolish thing I ever heard god gives us doctors nurses and scientists but only if we alow them to get educated free to do so be greatful not hateful.

my 2 doctors dr Ranna and dr Joseph 

Summer

 So wow how hot can it get a New England  heat wave in June, want to hear a funny story?

A couple days ago when this heat wave started i thought I would be helpful and cut dowN some awful vines growing all over the air conditionar and i accedently cut a wire that the vine Grew into i mean it was covered with vine i had to peel the vine off to see what I did so i am ike huy is going to kill me, not really but yaeh it is going to get loud for a moment or two or three. 

so seeing as the wire was so long i cut a peice off so i could show hubby and see if it is fixable. i enter the house asking how much do you love me he is like what did you do i said first tell me how much you love me now keep in mind heavy people and heat wave and how that is going to be he again said what did you do so i told him and yup he was angry but then i showed him and he did say  it was fixable just a run to hardware store.and yup he fixed it and we are sooooo cool yeah.