We finally felt soooooooo normal, yesterday we went to NH and visited my aunt all of us vaccinated and I can’t believe it was defiantly one of those hug moments you see on tv these days. I missed her so much, we all got tearful it was a wonderful visit I missed my aunt so much she reminds me of mom a lot but very different as well.
We hadn’t see each other in 2 years because the first year I was going through chemo and I could get sick very easily so I stayed in most of the time then she was sick for a bit and then of course COVID so another year of not seeing her. It was so nice to go for a long ride which was so pretty with spring flowers and trees and to most of all see her. check out this video.
A new start a new day thinking a lot past few days more about how I have grown
when you can’t do the simplest things like visit someone you love you think a lot, when you have a cancer that is always a part of you and you wonder when it will attack again praying you stay in remission until you just die of old age you think a lot, or when a pandemic takes the lives of so many in your country and the world well yup you think a lot. So I hope to write more about thoughts I have you all can agree or disagree but these are my thoughts oh and if I talk about god like today I have felt for years god is always a power greater or stronger than your self the earth for example greens oceans and dirt god for short or seeing as I am Christian he is my all mighty but my dad when in AA it was group of drunks again g o d which as a whole are a strong group to help you. so now onward some thoughts I know I have probably written befor.
what I feel good about is how I have learned not to blame god or a higher power for things that go wrong in life, the best example I can give and often look at in my own life if illness and death. we can not blame god for those things only ourselves like cancer for example I will give 3 reasons it is our fault and not gods first is we have choice god gave us the power of choice.
1. we do not give higher education to all who desire it and are smart enough to have it which then leads us to not enough educated people to study disease and find a cure so all those poverty stricken kids you have decided to ignore not feed so they can study better or put through collage has a effect on us all.
2. killing of wild life and animals, many animals die off Like the elephant did you all know the elephants are the only animal that do not get cancer? and we are allowing them to be killed off treat them badly and abuse them. also we really do have plants going through some of the same and we know many of our medicines come from plants.
3 polutions do I really need to explain ok we choose chemicals that are bad for the environment and put them in the air we choose unhealthy diets some also drink and smoke and some are around those who smoke but lets talk mostly about the air itself it is full of crap we saw images of all the smog that lifted away because of COVID and animals all around and thriving.
so yes many of you may say I do not do any of these things so why is god still punishing me again he gave each and everyone one of us choice just because it wasn’t your choice it is another’s who caused what is our fault is not fighting to fix these things not voting for our children to get educated even if poor not paying for more to fight against poachers abusers of lands and animals and voting for the use of wind and solar provided to us by god.
God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
A saying I always remember the serenty prayer
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