September update 2021

 so what A month September has been so far. First my surgery well Th cce day was rainy I was very scared have not had A surgery since I was a child under 6. We got to the hospital and right off they said Jonathan can not come ibecause of Covid protocols agai,iwas so upset I began to cry my anxiety at its highest ever I just wanted to leave to hell with it a ll. They let Jon in for a few minutes to sort stuff out t diont expect him up in the surgery area but at least get to where I check in and maybe able to sit down in the main lobby. Well anyway at least we got a student to come and assist to get me to where I need to be.i hate being so afraid all the time or having these qwer panic attacks.i also think The loosing our Barnaby and Jonathan emergency surgery took alot out of me.on top of working if This surgery on mt ovaries was cancer or not

So anyway I got up to my surgery I saw my surgeon before it and she kelt in front of everything will be ok they will take good care of me they had called Jonathan as well and let me have my phone to text him. So I got prepped by some nice nurses I also net The students who also would be in the room. And befor I knew it all done. Still nervous with all around me I did feel glad it was over. The surged said all week great No career bu. t will be testing The tumors to see if pre cancer cells exist. After hour of recovery I got wheeled to car and mt wonderful husband' (in case wondering it wa's laperscopic 4 holes and taken out through one of them on My right side . and of course the. pain was mostly there )

I am feeling much better pain is almost gone and emotionaly I am ok but embarrassed that I get that  anxiose. We did find out The test in lab snowed pre cancer cells. So I will be having tests during The year and have a oncology doctors one for my uterus and other for blood cancer lots of tests but is ok.I feel blessed cancer free for now.

We also got a- New baby a poogle or beagle poo she is a pup a few months old we are  IIIn love she is so cute. And she has been The Best medicine so much Love - well fall is coming mt favorite time of year.

' Up date August

So lots has happened I met with my doctor at women's and infants a top In ovarian cancer and The surgery. Surgery is The first week OF September it will be laparoscopic unless cancer the it will change to normal surgery and I will have all My female parts removed in there. .

Hey look the got a bell at the infusion center to ring when done treatment.

This week was full of appointments for US both I had a check up so my family doc could sign that I was healthy enough for surgery. I also had another port flush I can't wait to finally get this port removed. Also This week Jonathan had his yearly check up and he had an appointment with his doc that did his surgery for a-check. So it was a very busy week. 

We have been on ww for a couple Mo now and doing very well losing Weight. 

 Still missing our Basset Barnaby I still cry so often. 

Lets see what else The Covid issue is happening again some stares have full hospitals kids units full. I feel so sad for the children under twelve who cont get the vaccines. And because so many miss-informed adults not getting vaccinated and hurting these kids. We also now because of those Who chose not to get vaccinated May need to get boosters. When people . Try

And claim beliefs or that you tube is smarter than docs and scientists I think OF This story of '

 The Drowning Man 

 

A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help.

Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the fellow shouted to the man on the roof, "Jump in, I can save you."

The stranded fellow shouted back, "No, it's OK, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me."

So the rowboat went on.

Then a motorboat came by. "The fellow in the motorboat shouted, "Jump in, I can save you."

To this the stranded man said, "No thanks, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith."

So the motorboat went on.

Then a helicopter came by and the pilot shouted down, "Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety."

To this the stranded man again replied, "No thanks, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith."

So the helicopter reluctantly flew away.

Soon the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to discuss this whole situation with God, at which point he exclaimed, "I had faith in you but you didn't save me, you let me drown. I don't understand why!"

To this God replied, "I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?" (Truthbook.com)

Get vaccinated! God gave you doctors, scientists, and a vaccine, don't be standing at Heaven's gate asking why.

Jonathan surgery and barnaby passed away.

 The first week of July sucked was so sad and upsetting and even scary.

not only have I been told I need surgery very soon on my ovaries for the cyst that seems to be growing fast

but my wonderful furbaby Barnaby my basset hound my friend my support dog died from liver cancer I sat with him for days keeping him comfortable he hated going to the vets so like my other pets in the past he died at home with me and my husband with him I petting his side. still crying even now I am having a horrible time with this it was too soon for him and unfair he was 9 years old. also the night he died my husband was rushed to the hospital by ambulance for his hernia that went beyond strangulated he had emergency surgery. so crazy how so much can happen at once. 

As most know I have anxiety issues, so it was sooooo hard for me to get an uber and get to the hospital to see my husband but guess what I did it, I needed to vomit when I got to the hospital but I did it, and even found his room yay for me well-considering everything yes yay for me. 

I had a hard few days alone at home missing Barnaby and my husband I cleaned the house from top to bottom trying to stay busy and fix up an area for Jonathan to recoup in the living room. Staying busy does really help. 

Even though it is hard to see the wonderful some days I do feel blessed that my husband is alive for one and he is home now and taking care of him has been easy and full of love, he is up and around the last couple of days doing stuff on his own just no heavy lifting. and Barnaby was with me through so much including cancer chemo and covid isolation I feel blessed again so thankful I had him the years I did I just wish it was longer I will miss the laughter he brought his clever sneaking his counter surfing, his barking at the mailwomen, his laying with me as I pet his head, god I miss him but I know he is at the rainbow bridge and out of pain. thank you, god for the time I had.

 

Baranby and me -his last day holding back tears as I write now I will miss you so much dear friend.

Barnaby at easter 

 

Pet Lovers and Pets
by Renderly Yours

Update cancer, end June 2021

 Well another update I do not think I have been this depressed in years even when I first heard of my follicular lymphoma. It is hard today to say I wont give up but I am close. We heard today what I thought we would hear I need immediate surgery on the growth on my overies we wont know if it is cancer until it is out but tests so far do not look good cancer markers in my blood are up and certain markers in ultra sound but until it is out and tested we wont know if cancer or even what stage of cancer I have a feeling it might be a stage 2 but praying it is not cancer at all and also praying it is not stage 3 or 4.

Like I said I haven’t been this depressed in a long time spacing out limp body exhausted sad I think it is because my cancer journey is still just beginning i see so many sad stories I don’t want to be that sad story but i fear i will be. Crying now as I write also my Basset is dying he has liver cancer and today is at the stop eating stage of his down hill fall the vet says he is not in pain i am so happy for that I also hope he can die at home like my other pets in the past  and not at the place he hates so much to visit our vet is great but he just hates going so much.

He was a big help to me when i went through chemo with my lymphoma it will be hard this time without him i think all the sadness of his dying and i needing surgery for this now softball in my gut that might be cancer just has taken over my spirit it seemsI hope in the days to come I can take some deep breaths and get back my happiness and hope. And snap out of this depression.

Well folks that’s it for today i will write again soon.

Help educate so we can cure disease free collage please

 can I be frank? of corse i can th''is is my blog :)

I get so upset when people poo poo free education free collage what the heck is wrong with folks?

or that people think dreamers shouldnt be able to go to collage what the or how about people from other countries living here ok ok why am I upset here it is.

I have cancer all right you all know that. well my oncolagiyst that cured me putiing me into remission waasnt born in america he was one of the best oncoligists in New England USA he has gone on to a bigger city and now I have another oncologist again not originaly from this country so what the heck are all of you complaining about. so if you can not make it easier for american kids to get into collage like make it free do not complain about them coming from elsewhere. we need to help our poor schools with hungry kids latch key kids kids raised by single moms many poor kids are smart and maybe one of those you refused an education could have been a scientist that cured cancer years back or alzimers the more we have working on this stuff the better. so stop saying no free education that is just the most foolish thing I ever heard god gives us doctors nurses and scientists but only if we alow them to get educated free to do so be greatful not hateful.

my 2 doctors dr Ranna and dr Joseph 

Summer

 So wow how hot can it get a New England  heat wave in June, want to hear a funny story?

A couple days ago when this heat wave started i thought I would be helpful and cut dowN some awful vines growing all over the air conditionar and i accedently cut a wire that the vine Grew into i mean it was covered with vine i had to peel the vine off to see what I did so i am ike huy is going to kill me, not really but yaeh it is going to get loud for a moment or two or three. 

so seeing as the wire was so long i cut a peice off so i could show hubby and see if it is fixable. i enter the house asking how much do you love me he is like what did you do i said first tell me how much you love me now keep in mind heavy people and heat wave and how that is going to be he again said what did you do so i told him and yup he was angry but then i showed him and he did say  it was fixable just a run to hardware store.and yup he fixed it and we are sooooo cool yeah. 

May 28 is blood cancer awareness

The 28th of May is Blood Cancer Awareness day. I have blood cancer which is in remission for now. I will likely see a reoccurrence or 2 in my life, but I pray not. It is called follicular lymphoma and we need a cure for blood cancer. So many suffer from lymphomas and leukemia. Please help with research now, but if you can't afford a donation please help me spread the word, hugs and thank you